To the Black, Bad, and Boujee Women of Television.

…and the ways these fictional characters continue to inspire my adult life.

Photo by Vladimir Yelizarov on Unsplash

Growing up in probably one of the best decades of Black television and film, I have seen my fair share of the quintessential boujee character. Whether it was Whitley Gilbert or Toni Childs, these women were often ridiculed by their respective character friends which made them appear less favorable to me as a child. This surely formed my opinion on how women with these personalities were in real life — which ultimately made me shy away from the idea of ever being like those women myself. Thankfully in this streaming era, I can re-watch these shows with a fresh set of adult eyes. Now in my big age, there’s something I noticed when binging on these golden re-runs. It was me admiring the woman I once viewed as annoying! It made me start wondering why I didn’t like these “uppity” characters before? I ask myself this particularly when re-watching Girlfriends, Half & Half, and Living Single. Each of these shows’ bad and boujee characters are definitely nuanced in their own way, but essentially they all share the same standard: an expensive lifestyle in all things from clothes, to food, and men.

Girlfriends

I know you think I’m going to talk about Toni Childs, which rightfully so, she is the boujee queen of Girlfriends. But instead, I want to examine a character who is not often talked about when we think of these characters, and that girl is Monica Charles Brooks-Dent. It took me some time to get here, but now that I’m here, I can officially say that Monica is THAT girl. I used to think she was manipulative, conniving, classist and egregious(iykyk). Now that I really see her, I can truly say that she has become one of my favorite Girlfriends’ characters.

• Monica knew how to position herself. In one episode, Monica reveals how she even connected with William, who by now was her husband. She explained that she overheard Swedelson (William’s boss) brag about one of his new associates(William). Monica then somehow was able to track down the law firm, got information on William and found his favorite bar that he frequented. Though we didn’t see this play out and can only go by Monica’s word, she knew if she was at the bar and William saw her, he would bite the bait. How could she be so sure? It’s a level of confidence I once found to be arrogant, but now admirable. Monica was more than confident that William was going to pursue her that night, and he did.
• Monica knew how to upgrade. From catapulting the J. Spot restaurant as new manager, to enhancing William’s career, Monica enhanced the things she cared for. The J. Spot was almost going to be a failing business since they were not getting any customers. Though she can’t get full credit for turning the business around, that restaurant ran like a well oiled machine and leveled all the way up once Monica became manager. She did the same for William’s career. He was not going to be a senior partner that fast or at all, if it wasn’t for all the game Monica was dropping on him. Some gems that he didn’t appreciate until he became partner and realized how helpful Monica was. Besides cleaning up his image, Monica gave William tips on professional plays and it ended up working . Her investment eventually paid off as some years later, she became a senior partner’s wife.
• Monica upheld her standards. Before becoming partner at the law firm, William quit his job, and instead of telling Monica this, he took her on a trip to Italy instead(lol). He figured telling her this news in Italy would soften the blow, but it did not help. In fact, once William told her he had quit, she dipped. Realizing that he was really going to lose her, William chose to explain the reasoning behind his foolishness and basically tried to win Monica back over. William is smart, so he succeeded in doing so. This is when I knew Monica actually loved WIlliam and was not just with him for his status– as many(including the Girlfriends) originally believed. Still, she did not allow that love to lower standards of the kind of man she wanted to be with. As a teen, I thought Monica was using William; now I see her as someone who refused to lower the standards she has created for her own life.

Living Single

As a child, I wasn’t turned off by Regine Hunter’s character, as much as I was of Monica, but I definitely was annoyed by her. She evidently also got on her friends’ nerves too — mostly Khadijah — who had the most to say about Regine’s lifestyle choice. But just like Monica and so many of these boujee Black gals, Regine knew what she wanted and never settled for less.

• Just like Monica, Regine’s standards remained high. She was always clear on dating expensive men and she did not shy away from this. Though she dated throughout the seasons, it was in the last season where Regine actually ends up getting engaged to a man whom she really loved — and who fit her financial standards.
• Regine was ambitious. She did not just lay up in the shared Brooklyn brownstone, twiddling her thumbs all day and aspiring this lifestyle. Whether it was learning French to impress Monsieur Luc or being prepared by keeping her resume on standby, Regine was not passive with her professional goals. This is a girl who worked her way from store buyer, to manager, to a television costume assistant, and then wedding planner/designer. Oftentimes women of this caliber are seen as materialistic, but she shows us that women like this can have ambition for things other than clothes and looks.
• Regine enforces her boundaries. She did not tolerate much disrespect and did not cower down when respect was not given to her. This is seen really in the episode where she moves out of the brownstone. Feeling disrespected by Khadijah, Regine was expecting an apology. But since Regine didn’t get one, she thought it was best to live elsewhere. Though it was very prideful, she was showing all of her friends how she wanted to be treated. Khadijah thought Regine was bluffing with the move, but when she realized that her friend was not playing, she eventually apologized, giving Regine the respect she wanted in the first place.

Half & Half

Then there is Dee Dee Thorne from Half & Half–not to be mistaken with her mother who is also named Dee Dee(lol). Watching that show as a young teen, I use feel the need need to “choose” between her and her more earthy sister, Mona. I resonated more with Mona back then, but watching this show as an adult, I question whether or not I only connected more with Mona only because I was so used to disliking characters like her sister. What I now see is that Dee Dee was a very dynamic character.

• Dee Dee is multi-dimensional. I mean yes, she was raised in wealth and behaved so, but she was also a determined Law student who was trying to find herself from underneath her parent’s thumb. Similar to Regine, Dee Dee had a strong work ethic and a desire to excel within her own identity.
• I cannot recall not one bad and boujee television character who did not portray confidence. But to me, Dee Dee’s confidence is genuine. She does not come off as if she is trying to prove her lifestyle; which could be because she was already accustomed to living the way she did. This confidence is seen in the decisions she makes. Like her choice to break up with a guy she found out once dated Mona. Or her decision to go against her father’s wishes and handle a disruptive tenant on her own. Or even calling out her boss’ mistreatment in the workplace. Dee Dee is sure of herself and had to be in order to determine some of the choices she made.
• Dee Dee may be considered boujee, but she is not elitist. Often, these television characters can often be seen poking fun or criticizing another character’s less expensive shoes, hair, home, etc., or essentially just looking down on others who aren’t like them. I cannot recall a time when Dee Dee has done so out of spite to any other character. Dee Dee’s non-elitism is also seen in her dating life, as she is the most flexible with the men she chooses when compared to the other characters mentioned. Though she has dated men of a certain status, throughout the show, she has shown that she is more open to dating outside of that circle.

So, why didn’t I think of any of this before? It could be that I was only a child watching I watched these television shows. That’s half of it. But I think that another influential factor is that I, like many Black women I know, have been conditioned to be the stark opposite of the Monicas, Toni’s, Whitley’s, Hilary’s Regine’s and the Dee-Dee’s of the world. Usually when people try to stray away from something they deem bad, they jump to the stark opposite. So in the elder’s efforts to teach my generation how to be self-sufficient and goal oriented, it turned into suggesting we become hyper independent, down to earth, and essentially low maintenance instead. So when women are portrayed living these high maintenance lifestyles, it was easy to subconsciously dislike them.

Maybe for some people none of this is relatable. Perhaps you were not fond of these characters because of their entitlement, bossiness, and most times horrible attitude. Or on the flip side, maybe you’ve always liked these characters and never had a problem with them. These traits didn’t repel you at all; it drew you to them more. You could have been a boujee gal on the rise or a product of boujee gal(s). Even with this reality though, there’s unfortunately another reality where women who like nice things are stigmatized as gold diggers, spoiled, and dimwitted.

For some, this vexation was not conjured up by watching women on screen, but it was also experienced in real life with real people. Perhaps you have been at either end of an interaction where a woman criticizes another woman for: wearing make-up, wearing heels, dressing up, or solely dating men who are at a certain income level. And while everyone is entitled to their opinion, perhaps in deep self-reflection, one would find that the root of this critique is pure hateration.

But there seems to be a tide turning with us gworls. We are moving more towards communicating boundaries, establishing standards, enjoying luxury, and living soft lives. Even if it was in a very small way, I’d like to think that these fictional characters somehow cracked open a door for what we see now. Living high maintenance is even seen as a life hack by some and I could see how. It was how Regine got out of the hood to make it in New York City, it allowed Monica the benefit off learning from her father’s plight to wealth, to acquire her own, and it allowed Dee Dee the opportunity to attend law school without having to cover living expenses by working. For these characters, being high maintenance literally paid off.

Whether these television characters grew up accustomed to the boujee lifestyle or if they became so as an adult, these women found a way to make life more at ease, and that essentially is the “lesson” we all can learn from our beloved Black and boujee boos.